My 12 year old, allergic to nearly everything.

Went out on a boat without sunscreen today and now I have what I am calling “the bib of pain”

When your cabinet decides it’s time to break loose and come crashing down the day you install your brand new glass top stove.

Gravity wins. But I live to trip another day.

My Boss didn’t realize that there was an envelope of cash on her desk before using the shredder.

Well, it is not a good idea to clean the screen of the Macbook with glass cleaner.

What I got vs what I ordered

Hiked up an entire mountain for this view.

Don’t ignore your Shepard.

My Newton’s Cradle fell from the desk and is now a Newton’s Scrotum.

My boy Thor passed on Christmas day. My girl has been struggling to cope since. She loves stuffed animals so for this Christmas I ordered her a Cuddle Clone. I paid $300 for this.

Urban Avalanche

Did a Psychedelic Jerry puzzle missing a piece, got an extra copy of another piece instead.

Someone wanted to see if the ice would hold a car.

Hired contractor to fix a floor. Came home to a busted door covered in Sharpie. They say it wasn’t them.

The wedding venue was double booked at the same place as a furry convention.

There was only 1 mask in the car. My wife’s. Guess it looks like I am wearing my wife’s underwear in the hardware store.

Lost my wedding ring a month ago, bought a new one today; also, today…

I ordered mundane items from Amazon, I got a delivery notif, I asked my son to bring the box in and said jokingly, Don’t open it it may be Christmas presents! He has asked for a Switch for Christmas, he now thinks he’s getting one because of the promo on the Amazon box, sadly this isn’t true.

My cat just used my face as a launching pad.

Handle broke…